If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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