had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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