he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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