"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
