i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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