vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
