5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
