i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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