Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
