is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
