You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
