We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
