making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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