kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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