i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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