SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
