Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
