just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
