that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
