You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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