So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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