Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
birth control should be required to get into college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
