oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
