Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official drugs can't kill me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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