That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
