So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
