Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
