dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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