I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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