Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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