dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
