i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
