she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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