I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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