please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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