Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
