i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
