We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she peed on how many people?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
