i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
