He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So. Much. Porn.
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