You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
