Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
