The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize