i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
