Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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