tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
