sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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