I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
