grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
