Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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