I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
