She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
