that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
