your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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