he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
