Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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