I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
