Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
