I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
