I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How does one acquire holy water?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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