dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
