That's intense
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
