How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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