I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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