The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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