So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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