Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
another moral hangover. fuck.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
