Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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