ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
