So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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