shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
